It’s that eternal question. What do women really want? Do looks matter? Should we treat ‘em mean to keep ‘em keen?’ Do girls like ass holes, or do they really want just a nice guy? Whatever the answer is, it is clear that what women say they want, and what the actually want, are two completely different things.
That’s not having a go at the ladies. One thing I have learned - and yes, like everything in this arena, I have learned it the hard way - is that women are only human beings. They’re just like us. They don’t know what they want, any more than we do. And if that is anything to go by then we’re all in trouble, right?
However, lads, it seems there might be some light at the end of this dark tunnel, after all. Thanks to a new podcast from internet fitness coach Sabrina Domenosky, one of the age old mysteries that have troubled men since the beginning of time, might have just been solved.
Sabrina, a lifestyle and health entrepreneur, who has designed her own health programme called Sexy In Six Weeks, believes that you can’t have a healthy sex life without a healthy body. And the key to all of this is, of course, a healthy mind. She believes this is particularly important for men.
Get Fit To Get Laid, available on iTunes, is a regular podcast hosted by Sabrina, dedicated to setting the record straight about what women really want. Sabrina reveals all. Well, in an audio sense, anyway. She tells you the brutal truth about why the ass holes seem to have all the luck, and what you need to do in bed in order to keep your woman.
But be warned. This is not a podcast designed to make to you feel all warm inside. Sabrina is not in the habit of sugar-coating the truth.
“Be a f***king man,” she says. “I am so f***king sick of these pansy-ass men, that just roll over, you know? Like, you’re a doormat. I don’t want a doormat!”
Sabrina’s not lacking compassion for the boys. She acknowledges that being a man in the age of “I am woman, hear me roar” is not easy. And she admits that as a generation of young guys, we have been bombarded with mixed messages.
According to Sabrina, the generation of liberated women has backfired. It may be progress to have women earning their own wage, competing with men in society, but where does this leave the men? Now, women are not only mothers, they are the bread-winners too. The ladies really do wear the trousers these days.
“Men have been raised by women, it’s just the bottom line,” Sabrina explains. “Your mum either stayed at home, or you went to day care and it was always a woman in charge. How many male teachers did you have? Maybe your gym teacher was a guy. And so it has been just women that have raised men, and that’s wrong. “
The upshot of this is that as men we have grown up looking up to women, intimidated by them. If all you have to go on is a family of strong women, then you can be forgiven for thinking that what a woman wants is….well, what she says she wants.
“We are sending this message to men, even as little children, because they have all been raised by women, that we want men to do what we say.”
And this is where we go wrong, according to Sabrina. The last thing a woman wants is for us to do what they tell us to do. They don’t want to be our mothers. They might be powerful in their careers, independent and know what they want out of life, but since when did this translate into a woman wanting a pushover in her man? Just because women have become stronger, doesn’t mean men have to become weaker.
“When women are together,” says Sabrina, “we talk about these pansy-ass men. We don’t want nice guys! But we don’t want ass holes either. So, it is this fine line of what we truly want.”
Sabrina also says that as men, we give women too much credit. We have to understand that they are messed up just as much as we are.
“Women don’t know what they want,” she insists. “People in general don’t know what they want. Most of the time people end up falling into relationships. How many people go looking for a relationship, or go looking for a person and have an actual specific list of what they want to find?”
Thankfully, Sabrina has stepped up, and decided to offer guys some hard and fast answers about what women really look for in a man. So, how can we fill this seemingly impossible role of being an attractive, strong man, without acting like, well….a c***t?
“I think what is really, really attractive in a man - and maybe this why women like the ass holes - is when a guy knows who he is, and what he wants.”
It might contradict everything you have ever been told by the women, but the truth is women want you to stand up for yourself, and to them.
“I don’t want a man to compromise for me,” Sabrina continues, “I don’t want him to compromise his passions, I don’t want him to compromise who he is, as man, as a human being, as a person.”
“So, a lot of the time, these assholes are attracting women, because they are not compromising. They are like “f***k you, this is who I am.”
Sabrina told me the story of a former workplace, where, during a meeting, the men on her team started treating the project like a team sport. The male energy was high and the competitive spirit dominated the room. All of a sudden they realised a woman was among them and started apologising for their behaviour.
She sees this as an example of the kind of situation modern society puts men in. As men, we are being robbed of our right to interact and express ourselves authentically.
“It’s like the majority of men are ashamed of being like that,” Sabrina said.
“Men need to be men. Look at what our society has done. It has totally made it taboo for men to be like that. I don’t know how this all happened, but it is a big f***ing mess now.”
Sabrina’s answer to all our relationship woes is the exact opposite of what we have been told. Instead of being the sensitive guy, and doing whatever it is that your woman wants, Sabrina tells men to stand up to a woman, go out with the guys, do guy things. Don’t be scared to be a man.
One way she tries to help men do this is by offering tailored health coaching. Unlike most health fad training plans, Sexy In Six Weeks, is designed for both men and women. She feels it is important for men to sort their bodies out first, and once they do that, the rest will follow.
“The physical is so connected to the mental. You cannot separate the physical from the mental and the spiritual. It is not possible. So, once you start improving one of those aspects, the other two follow on automatically.”
Forget chat-up lines and dating tricks, says Sabrina. A running theme of the Get Fit To Get Laid podcast is what she calls the “inner game.” Instead of focusing on cheating your way into bed with a woman, sort yourself out, and you are guaranteed to naturally attract more women.
Sabrina sums this up perfectly: “So how do you become the man that women want you to be? This happens when you get your shit straight. When you are in touch with who you truly are, and when you are healthy and fit, you automatically have inner game.
“And you will naturally figure out relationships when you get to that point as well.”
In the course of our conversation, Sabrina spent a lot of time telling me what she didn’t want in a man. When I asked her what she did want, I got the only straight answer I have ever received from a woman to that question:
“I want the enlightened guy, who is a leader. I want a guy who is strong and makes decisions, and who knows who he is. And every woman wants that. “
So there you have it. Mystery solved.
Download Get Fit To get Laid on iTunes, or visit www.sexyinsixweeks.com to find out more about Sabrina’s fitness programme.