This blog is not so much about bringing sexy back as RIPPING SEXY UP. We are rewriting the book. We are collapsing the stage. We are tearing down all the heavy bullshit that has clouded our sense of who we are for centuries, and we are reinventing what it means to be a man.
And on this, we are not consulting anyone. We are not appealing to the past, to higher authority, to academia, to expertise, and we are most certainly not consulting women on this.
You decide what makes you sexy. Not a woman. You decide. And that very act of decision making is enough. Masculinity is an existentialist quality. It is the energy of choice. It is the authentic follow through of a decision without apology, and without justification.
So, I hope that clears something up. We will not be offering any arbitrary definitions of man. We will not be holding up particular qualities as examples of masculinity. We will not be designing new ideological manifestos. There is no list of ultimate virtues.
The only thing that defines a man is his willingness to express himself as himself, without apology. Yeah, yeah yeah, I know. Hitler expressed himself without apology, so does that make him a man? No. Because he did not express himself authentically. His psychosis was the result of repression; repression of his sexual, creative and masculine energies. Hitlers exist when authenticity is lost. Hitler was a painter. Stalin was a poet. It is the repression of their true potential which turned them into madmen.
Your masculinity exists in your ability to put argument aside and decide on a course of action, and then to follow it through. This is the essence of what it means to be human as well. So, I guess what I am really getting at, is that what a woman finds attractive, is ultimately a human being. In the same way that this is exactly what you find attractive in a woman. Everything else is bullshit. Distractions. Ways of selling back to you a power that is already inside you.
Your sexuality is not in doubt. Your power is implicit, it is in your cells. Some people prefer Talisker to Glenfiddich. Some women like broad shouldered red heads, and some prefer tall dark and handsome. Who gives a motherfuck? The worst thing we can do is try to homogenise ourselves, to become some kind of tabula rasa upon which potential partners project their fantasies. There is no such thing as god’s gift to women. There is no such thing as sexual technique, other than being awake and alive to yourself so much so that you cannot avoid being awake and alive to the needs and sensitivities of a woman. And you can never perfect this. You can always become a better lover, because you can always become a better human being. Love equals growth.
We need to throw out all the convenient pre-packaged ideas about what makes a man. We have to just throw it all out. Being a man is a moment to moment decision, because that is exactly what being human is. There is no external factor which determines whether you are attractive or unattractive, manly or unmanly. You decide what makes you sexy, and your affirmation of this through action will give you all the confirmation you need.