Sexual guilt. This is something ingrained in the modern man.
We cover it up either be acting in a thwarted, embarrassed way, or we smother it in sexual bravado, sex-addiction and misogyny.
The psycho-feminists are right in one regard – that nice-guy syndrome and misogynist ass-hole are flip-sides of the same coin.
However, these are not essential features of being male. They are not even signs of “toxic masculinity” (a phrase I used to use a lot, but won't anymore).
These two forms of neurosis are ways men negotiate their sense of sexual guilt in a world that has changed rapidly since their grandfathers and, even their fathers, were young.
Instead of evolving new ways to express wholesome sexual identity and communicate our sexual needs, men are in danger of retreating to neutered personae, or reactionary aggressiveness.
What we need is a new culture that captures the fierce power of male sexuality, but which embraces the fluidity of a culture transformed by women's empowerment.
It is essential that shame, guilt, apologetics and paranoia play no part in this new culture.
It is for this reason that I have been, and intend to be in the future, unabashedly critical of the campus feminist culture.
In the past, much of male self-esteem was based on a sense of rank and superiority over women, at least in the public sphere, in the political culture.
Now that has changed. Political and judicial equality have been achieved. What hasn't changed is the way men form their self-esteem, their sense of themselves.
A lot of people think going on about this is just “male tears”, and there is a sense in the Guardianosphere and HuffPostosphere, that “rubbing it in” for men is the solution.
Populist feminists think that they need to write books called “The End Of Men” and “Lost Boys” and drive it home to them that they no longer have the power.
As I have said before, I reject the Marxist subtext of the campus, Laurie Penny style of feminism.
Sexuality is not a class war. Gender is not a clash of economic forces.
In fact, one of the great achievements of second-wave feminism was to eradicate these factors from the arena of sexuality and gender.
If anything, we are now free to create a new form of sexuality and gender relationship, from the ground up. We have the great feminists of the past to thank for that. Men have been liberated as much as women.
We are in this together.
It is for these reasons that I wholly reject the nonsense headlines of pseudo-liberal newspapers that try to harness female grievance and turn it into a political campaign.
That is just a corporate trick. Grievance sells products. Black Lives Matter, campus feminism, and the rest of the victim-minded noise culture found on social media and the web in general, is making a lot of people very rich.
Time to ignore it.
For men, it's time to reinvent masculinity. Not to please the HuffPost feminists, but to reignite the critical, frictional and civilisational power of male sexuality.
I take as a given that men and women are biologically different. Gender is not a construction.
On that basis, I see the peculiar male challenge as this:
To harness the raw power of our primitive sexual drive in such a way that it is not only compliant with civilised culture, but also acts as a driving force for its survival.
This is what our ancestors knew. This is what the Laurie Penny-psychos of the world can never admit.
You will find no apologies for masculinity here.