No matter what a woman will or will not tell you, the fact is that you have a power over them. I don’t mean a physical power. I mean an emotional draw. You have something that they want. You have something which they desire, and there is nothing unnatural or manipulative about this. There is nothing wrong with it. Just like there is nothing wrong with the power they have over us. It’s obviously no mystery to you that they do have this power. But what they won’t tell you is, so do you.
I find it laughable, all this crap about how a woman doesn’t need a man anymore. I’m going to simply dismiss the notion right here. Of course women need us. They need us as much as we need them, or they wouldn’t make such a bloody fuss about it.
So, what is this special something which you have, that they want? The short answer is that I don’t know. The slightly longer answer is that I am not sure any of us will ever know. Not conceptually. I mean, in some sense you already know. Your masculinity is not something that can be defined. I think the closest I can get, is a kind of “freedom.”
Whatever it is, just know that you do have this power. Women are just very good at not letting on that you have it. I don’t blame them. The masculine energy can be overwhelming. It can be like standing in the eye of a storm sometimes. I should know, I live my whole life in this kind of upheaval.
But let’s just get this out the way right here. There will never, NEVER, I repeat N>E>V>E>R be a fucking clear cut, closed down, sharpened definition of what masculinity is. Not on this blog. That is the last thing I want to do. Your masculinity is simply you. It is your personality, manifest. And the more authentic you are, the more power you have as a man.
A lot of women have this energy too. Don’t get me wrong. Of course they do. The most attractive women to me, are the women who embody this forthright expression of personality, who break out of the expected norms of traditional femininity. In short, they are the ones who are free to be themselves first, and a woman second.
For us men, it is slightly different. We are men first and men second. This is because what we offer to a woman, to society, to the tribe of humanity, is ourselves. What makes us useful, functional and of benefit to the community or family, is exactly that which makes us unique, makes us individual.
In many ways, there must be a deep-seated envy of women here. Their identity is far easier to get a grip on. They are born with the ability to give birth. I mean fuck. That triumphs over any other human power. There is nothing left to prove.
For men, however, our journey is less mapped out. Our identities and our place in the world are not so tangible. And I believe this fact is the neurosis at the bottom of patriarchy, of the exploitation of women, and the so-called battle of the sexes.
For me, there is no battle of the sexes. Fuck all that. The only battle I have is for myself. Not WITH myself. FOR myself. Get it?
But I think the answers, or the ultimate ends of our individual masculine quests, our much more straightforward than we have thought. In the same way that we envy the power of a woman, the role of a woman, they also envy us. They envy our freedom. Part of them wants to go out into the hunt as well. Part of them wants to roam aimlessly on the sands. Because they have testosterone too, obviously.
And this is what we have that they want. They have it too, but our physicality as men is a deeper expression of the energy. And the masculinity in them is attracted to this, in a very profound way. Trust me. They love that shit. They love it when we are at our most free, when we are demonstrating our prowess in the face of the gods, or the weather, or the rest of the ass holes in the office. They love it, because they have it too, and it is a very essential human energy. It is the energy of survival. It just so happens that when you are born a man, you are born with an abundance of this energy.
So, how do you access this energy? How, and this really is the basic fucking question isn’t it, do you access your masculinity? How many god damned roads must we all walk down before we call ourselves men? Well, the answer is much more simple than we think. It is simply to be who we are. Or as Nietzsche said, BECOME who you are. The masculine energy in you, is just that energy which makes you you. It is what makes you different, unique and remarkable. Only those who are deeply insecure about their own masculine energy, would seek to cut you off from this, and distract you from yourself.
And just to repeat, so that I don’t get too much hate mail here, WOMEN HAVE THIS ENERGY TOO! Of course they fucking do. They have plentiful supplies of it, despite the fact that it has been suppressed in them for so long by an insidious culture. The difference is, that what makes us valuable to them as women, as mothers and nurturers, is our abundance of this energy, and our freedom to express it whatever way is required.
Anyway. You want to be a man? You already are a fucking man. Just be it, without apology, without fear and without shame. Be whatever it is that makes you unique, and this will also be what will make women lust for you. Your greatest power is being authentically yourself. This is an essential human energy, and our unrelenting expression of it as men, awakens the same energy in women, and it empowers them. A woman is attracted to you, when your very presence EMPOWERS HER. That is the power you have.