Something else about failure. I kept going during the gig. And I am actually proud of this fact. Not just in the cliched "noble defeat" sense, but also because I actually learned a lot. I learned what I want to do in a gig, what I can do, and what I really need to work on. I proud of this because it actually takes a little bit of humility to fuck something up. And it has to be true that in order to do something well, you have to be prepared to do it badly.
I have come across a lot of male egos that never try anything new, or never utilise their talents, because they are simply too self-conscious to push through the barrier of fucking it up.
And I fucked up royally. Once I had difficulty with my Bm chords that was the end. I couldn't get a flow. But what I am really proud of is the fact that I challenged myself. I knew I had a problem with this chord, but I went ahead and did it. And it was petrifying. But I am proud of the fact that I was able to put my ego aside and make a cock of myself, and in doing so learn a lesson. Am I making any fucking sense?
I am proud of my humility. And yes, I understand that only a massive ego could come up with a statement like that. But nobody's perfect.