Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Update

Just finished my second resistance workout of the week and it was a total fucking bitch I have to say. Feels good now, though half an hour ago I wanted to die. I did it too late too, so I am going to have to find some way of nourishing myself that isn't going to keep me up all night.
My main thing now is how to keep going when you really beleive you have nothing left. That is the big challenge. More than once tonight I came up against the wee fat kid. He makes a kind of whimpering noise when things get too hard. Even blasting Public Enemy on my computer couldn't stop him coming out. Though the rhythmic tones of Chuck D did get me through the final "Plank" of the evening. The Plank is where you prop yourself up in the push-up position for a certain length of time. I rest on my elbows, and hold it for a minute. It is torturous. But it really works the abs. There are a lot of crunches in this workout as well, which is about the point that I start wanting to give in. Your male ego can only take you so far. The good thing about working out like this is that it pushes you to that point, and you have to draw on something else other than a cocky arrogance to get you through. Not that I can say what that thing is that you draw on. Maybe it is different for everyone. The main thing is that it is not your ego. It is not self-image. It has its foundations in something deeper than your pop-culture environment. When I find it I'll let you know, but until then I will have to rely on a Calvinist self-punishmet to keep me going.

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