Project Brando

Right. Fuck it. I am starting this blog again. For many reasons. I have no idea whether or not I have anything useful to say at this point, but I am going to start from a personal perspective and hopefully I will drift into some valuable topics. If I don't, I will stop wasting your time. So let's just give it a try.
What is Project Brando? Well, it is actually something that cannot be put into words. However, on the face of it, it is a long term project to get healthy, and get fit. Last year I got quite far. I ended up getting first place at my local sport centre for a gym based triathalon. Since then, though I have let it slip. I guess you could say that I failed in my goals.
My original goal was to get a body comaparable to Marlon Brando's in Streetcar Named Desire. Why Brando and not Stallone or whatever? Well, because Brando was toned and slender, and didn't have ridiculous bulging muscles. He was the original male icon. Before James Dean, before anyone.
I don't really want to look exactly like Brando did. It is just a name for the project, which has as much to do with mental and, forgive me for saying it, spiritual health as it does physical. It is also about getting in touch with my masculinity.
No that was not a joke, and no, I do not mean cracking one off. While it might be funny, there is a serious edge to this. The bottom line of this blog is to try to establish exactly what it means to be a man. On the back of feminism, patriarchal values have been dissolved, or at least exposed for the crock of shit that they are. In terms of masculinity, Patriarchy meant that men were functional. That their role in society, and therefore their value, was determined by their ability to hunt, kill, do battle and provide for the family. But as women increasingly become their own providers, men are left with a very skewed view of themselves.
If you don't believe me, take some time to examine the popular media and its portrayal of men. Look at programmes like Sex in the City. In that programme, there were two categories: the lovable rogue, or the sensitive pussy. If women can get up in arms about female stereotypes then so can men. In fact, I am. I am insulted by the way masculinity is represented. As I say, i am only talking from my personal experience. I have always been in a state of confusion about who I am supposed to be in expressing my sexuality and masculinity. On the one hand, I have been educated by my mother, my family and female friends, to be "a nice guy." A dependable, warm and sensitive person. "Just be yourself," they say. As if that is supposed to help. On the other, I have experienced the complete opposite in terms of what women affirm in their sexual behaviours. It is too easy to say that the ass holes get the girls, but it has become increasingly clear that what women find attractive, has nothing to do with being a "nice guy."
So, you heard it here. No more Mr Nice Guy!!! My starting point, is one of confusion. How do you express a healthy, heterosexual energy in world that either views you as a rapist or a wet blanket? What the fuck?!!
I am going to end with this: the worst thing you can do, is to listen to anyone else's opinion on this. Especially women. The modern woman is as confused and conflicted about her nature as any man. We are all struggling with a, dare I say it, post-modernist vacuum of self-identity. Nothing defines us, but our own existential choices in the moment. At the same time, however, we have got drives, needs, emotions. We are consticted by our bodies, whether we like it or not. And for men, this means a powerful sex drive and fundamental need for feminine affections. These are essential, and to try and deny your drives is the worst thing you can do. In fact, it is exactly what has got us into this fucking mess. Okay, more to come.